spewing bile: @ a lot of stuff...

i've had a lot of rage lately.  i'm not sure why, perhaps it's because i bought some new 1000 thread count sheets and comforter that have again made my bed a paradise to be in and then staying up doing stupid crap so i spend less time in it.  maybe it's because i'm just inclined to such feelings.  or it could be that people just suck and i'm near too many of them.

in any case yesterday one of the guys at work said to me "ya know what you should have on your site?  a cunt of the week."  this idea intrigued me, after all i love the word cunt, but i gotta say it's best used as the a-bomb it was always intended to be.  if we start throwing it around all willy nilly, it won't have nearly the impact it normally does and would in turn become less of a fun word. 

besides, there are ladies reading and they're generally not to fond of the word.  i'm not one to really give a damn what strangers on the internets think, but i'm also not too keen on alienating 50% of the population.  ok, i don't care about that either, but i certainly would rather do it for something awesome that really pissed a bunch of folks off instead of because i like a word and overuse it.

with that said, here's a bunch of people, things, and/or groups of people or things who could have easily been cunt of the week if such a title existed. i reserve the right to blab about them further in a future post, but i've got a ton of anger about to boil over now.

and away we go...

rain:  i fucking hate rain.  not only does it suck but it makes people suck...

people who use clearly broken umbrellas:  there is nothing more inconsiderate to your fellow man than walking around with an umbrella that has an exposed spine sticking out.  all due respect (which is none you selfish assfuck), i'd much rather you get wet than me get scratched or get stuck in the fucking eye with a piece of metal.  and these people almost always double as...

people who don't know how to walk with an umbrella:  you hold it above your head and walk.  when you pass someone, you go high or you go low so the umbrellas can pass each other without colliding and getting us both wet.  these assholes almost always turn out to also be:

people who stop in the middle of traffic holding everyone up when they don't know where they're going:  walk...just fucking walk.  or drive.  this person can be on foot or in traffic, doesn't really matter and they will always show up when you need to be somewhere.  standing there looking like the dumbass he or she is.

oprah:  we get it, you're fat again.  we don't give a shit.  see, here's the thing with ms. can't keep her hands out of a bag of chips...she's fat, then skinny, then fat, then skinny again.  fuck you.  i'm sorry your ratings went down when you decided to insert yourself into the political process, but to get fat so the heifers of america can rally around you only to milk em for every penny they've got when you decide which "weight loss solution" to support is shitty of you.  there's damn near a recession going on, people are defaulting on mortgages and can barely pay other bills and here you are telling us that you can't stop overindulging yourself?  eat shit and die you fat bitch.

u2:  i was just singing along to "elevation" and realized that it's a really bad song.  "hello, hello, hola!"  what stroke of genius did you have to come up with that?  "all of this can be yours, just give me what i want and no one gets hurt"?  you're a billionaire...fuck you.

the new york yankees:  forget the fact that i'm a mets fan and am biologically wired to hate the yankees, that's a complaint for another day.  this team just one year after proclaiming they were going to be more fiscally responsible (and shedding almost all the bad contracts that made them quite the opposite) they went and signed almost half a billion dollars worth of players.  putting that aside after signing these players they went ahead and asked the city of new york for about 200 million in free money to finish building their incredibly over budget new stadium.  the mayor said "ya gotta be shitting me, right?"  the steinbrenners answered "nopes."

pearl jam:  from turning almost every concert into a "these are our politics" event (don't get me wrong, i agree with most of your politics i'd just rather hear "black" than "we hate george bush"), to re releasing "ten" in several packages one of which runs $140.  yes, that's right, the multimillionaires need more money for less effort so they're putting out an album of old music and gouging the hell out of their fans.  it's cool though cuz this is an age of economic prosperity, everyone has far too much money and no clue what to do with it, right?  oh wait...

me:  cuz as pissed off as i am at eddie and the boys, i love vinyl and am a fucking ocd collector nerd.  mom wanted to know what i wanted for christmas, i sent her the link to buy the overpriced shit i've already heard package.  fuck me, i'm a hypocritical ass.

Comments

[Mik]

We need to design a Cunt of the week graphic.

By the way I want a copy of that coloring book. I shall go into Borders and inquire if they have it.

[ettarose]

After having watched The Vagina Monologues I can embrace the word, uh you know, uh the word, umm, CUNT!

[melissa]

I think you need a hug. Wait that probably just qualified me for your new weekly contest.

[Zachari]

I feel you on Oprah.