transformers 2 sucked...

so i had the pleasure of being invited to see transformers 2 last night.  good times with good friends (who as it turned out paid...even better!) are hard to turn down, plus i really enjoyed the first installment, so why would i?

we went to the imax in lincoln center.  why?  because when a movie is in imax there's no reason to not see it in imax, even if it means waiting in an hour long line to get a decent seat that won't cause you to break your neck.  sadly, the conversation we had while waiting on line was more interesting than anything the movie had to offer, other than megan fox's tits and ass being about 3 times larger and more delicious than life itself.

let's take you through the movie:

boring unfunny attempts at comedy, screaming, yelling, bad testicle joke, explosion, boring unfunny attempts at comedy, megan fox's ass, boring attempt at drama, boring attempt at comedy, fast action shots, screaming, fast action shots, screaming, robot fight, screaming, boring attempt at comedy, screaming, robot fight, sad robot death, pathetically written attempt to have a story, bad testicle joke, robot fight, screaming, fast action shot, screaming, robot fight, bad testicle joke, robot fight, screaming, slow motion tits bouncing running scene, explosions, yelling, boring attempt at drama, robot fight, ending that let's you know there's another movie coming.  end.  credits.  more bad comedy.  alright linkin park song.

quite frankly this movie could have been boiled down to a 15 minute cgi demo and a slide show of megan fox pictures set to a linkin park soundtrack and been as good or better.  you'd easily have a more stimulating experience playing a recent video game, downloading porn, and making your own ball jokes.

here's the sad thing.  the first movie was pretty good.  or, looking back, i guess short for a reason.  i thought it was good in the sense that it introduced you to the world of transformers and set you up for future stories to be told.  as it turns out, it was probably short because they had a bunch of incredibly unlikable characters and writers who can't tell a story for shit. 

i actually fell asleep during the interminably long "we're trekking through the dessert so we have a reason to show a "watch megan's tits bounce when she runs in slow motion" scene.  and damn near cried when i woke up to the scene involving the annoying section 7 guy from the first movie and a robots balls.  i quietly begged the movie not to verbalize the damn testicle joke...BEGGED.  and they did it anyway.  i can just imagine the giggling of 50 year old child touchers as they said "hey, lets give it balls!  lets give the robot balls!!!!"

oh and did i mention, the transformers series now has it's very own jar jar binks...

robots in disguise?
transformers two really sucked
save your money folks

Comments

[Leon]

Holy crap! I can't believe that. Still love Megan Fox...and her ass.